On being bold.

What should have been:
A: Are you religious?
B: Not really. But I have faith.
A: What's the difference?
B: Faith is trusting Jesus came to save me and religion is working to be saved.

What really happened:
A: Are you religious?
B: ....yeah.
A: Which one?
B: Protestant Christian.

Why do I hate labels and still put a label on myself? What's the point of a label that doesn't say anything about the substance. Need to have more faith so I can trust God when I need to be bold.

150 words.

This is the 150 words I sent to church on 'how God impacted me through this trip to China'. Just wanting to keep myself updated with my reflections on this trip and see how my thoughts progress over time and also let you guys see, if you're interested. (btw it's secretly 162 words or something XD)

When I say ‘I miss China,” it is the two week environment of exploration and serving and the mission team and fellowship that I miss. However, when I was actually in China, it was you, SVPG, that I missed! So much of what I saw and learned, I kept wishing you were there to see and learn with me. But you know what? Here, in Vancouver, instead of two weeks, we get a whole month, even a year, to learn together. If you feel ready to go on a missions trip, please teach us upon return. If you don’t feel ready, please realize that this home is our mission field. I now have a renewed urgency for our growth as a group. Change is a result of steady progression. Let’s keep encouraging each other and learning together (HEBREWS 10:24-25) so that when we’re called, we’re mentally, emotionally, and spiritually ready to just be our uniquely created selves, and go to serve others.

HEBREWS 10:24-25
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another-- and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Good night!

On the bus.

Here's a story for you from Tuesday, July 5, 2011.

This happened on the autotune bus (the minibus I took in Hong Kong was number 808 hehe).

So the minibus seats in HK are not individual seats but rather, they are like a booth seat, so the seats are like a soft bench. I'm at the window seat and a young lady is beside me. The bus fills up and finally, this one lady gets on and there's no room left for her to sit but she said she'll just crouch even though many people suggested for her to sit. So this lady crouched in the aisle. Then the bus starts moving because the driver already waited quite a bit for the passengers to arrive. Now, where she crouched was by the stairwell; there are 2 steps of stairs to be taken before reaching the raised seating benches so with the added height, and speed of the minibus on this rainy day, it was quite an unstable place for the lady to crouch. Anyway, so I just watched while all this happened, from my comfortable window seat.

Then the young woman beside me moved over in what little room she could and pulled the lady's arm. The lady, still crouching, refused. So I scooched over a bit too and the young woman pulled at the lady's arm again and this time, the lady came up and sat with us.

I just had to smile a bit. Couldn't help it. The young woman beside me smiled too =)

After all these videos of rude, young Chinese people on busses and around HK, this was quite nice to see. Hope is not lost in Hong Kong =)

Supernatural indeed.

Hello! It's just under a month since I last blogged. Haha. So terrible. And the update I'm writing right now isn't even about the mission trip =P

Anyways so just had worship night with Pi Fellowship and I had to do a sharing. ("had" to. haha. Like it's soo terrible.) Two things I wanted to point out with regards to my sharing: personal + others' opinions.

1.
Personally, I was prettttty nervous every time I thought about planning the sharing out and this morning, I even considered just not doing it at all. I tried to make it professional-sounding + tried to make it structured and all orderly. But then it got too annoying so I just scrapped the whole idea and just presented the Bible verses + the way I saw them through experience and stuff. Super casual. Wasn't that nervous. Did okay. No regrets + got to say what I wanted.

2.
Others' opinions. People were saying they liked my sharing. Someone even commented on how I connected my thoughts + how I perceived things... And that was my previous youth pastor?! And mostly just people saying they really liked my sharing. It was mostly kinda overwhelming. I mean, I understand that responses from people would either be 'it was good' or 'you can improve' (HAHA) but these responses were so...genuine. And as you saw, they weren't just 'good' they were almost 'too' good and it's funny because all I can say is... I don't feel any of it?

I mean I feel happy that people support me + that people were encouraged through my experiences, but I feel like I wasn't even that good? Not putting myself down at all, because I think I did okay, but I feel like here's what I said, and there's how people connected/received what I said, and that part's completely out of my control. I guess this is what they mean when they pray for 'the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts'. Only God can change people so it makes sense if God can affect how we process things as well.

It's both kinda weird and kinda cool. Weird because despite all the support, I don't feel like I'm a super public speaker now even though I feel like that's what I'm supposed to feel or something, and, cool, because I have this peace. It feels different from the peace that comes after accomplishing something or like when school is done and summer begins. Just have a very well-rested, satisfied peace that only comes from God. Thank you (:

Also excellent team work today to worship team + to everyone who came out/brought friends. Hope to worship together with everyone soon.

Hello!

I'm back!! :D

Returned home as of 430pm yesterday and had a good sleep last night. Currently uploading photos and organizing stuff from the suitcase.

Departure!!

It is not 1150am on July 6th, Wed. Meeting at airport at 245pm for a 2 hour flight + ~3 hour bus ride. Excited for culture learning + for the new situations we'll be placed in.

One thing I've learned in Hong Kong is this: you don't know how strong your umbrella is unless a typhoon comes. I know how strong I am; I'm that okay, so-so, kind of strong. But God is strong and I won't see how strong he is unless we face challenges. So here we go! Also please pray for our lesson plan planning!!!!

Photo postcards for China!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/59752548@N07/sets/72157626921352727/with/5844446247/

Thanks to Moses for the cool idea! I knew my random photo taking could be more useful one day haha. Check it out!!

HOW: Please post orders in the Flickr comments, Facebook messages, or to my gmail: ephra.tk.lee@gmail.com . 

WHEN: I'll get back to you after my trip!! (July 20th)

Bake sale

It's funny now that support raising has begun, I look at the money and I see it in three ways: administrative, financial, and personal support. Last night's bake sale was good!

(admin) I was happy to see people stay after fellowship ended, even though they were hungry for lack of dinner or had to rush to worship practice after.  And even before the actual bake sale, people were posting announcements on fb and made announcements during fellowship for Faith & I, AND quite a few people even brought their own homemade goodies to add to the table. :D <3

(financial) At the end of the night, the grand total to support me + Faith's mission trips was $274.39!!! Isn't is so bad that we're so used to seeing bigger numbers that we don't think much of that grand total? But just stop and think closely for awhile. We're all so young, still in school, some working part time jobs and some people have just started working full day jobs and, to me, putting money into something other than yourself takes a lot of consideration.

(personal) It feels strange because although I see the money, I don't feel like saying 'we raised this much money' but instead, it feels like 'we're offering this much from our fellowship'. Because the funding all goes to doing something for God, and I just get to be part of the team that goes to do it. On one hand, the focus is on God because I feel like we're raising money together as a whole fellowship, and on the other, people are emotionally and spiritually supporting me personally. People really put time and thought and energy into fundraising with us and by chatting and setting up/cleaning up with me, I could tell that our fellowship really cares for us. Yeah, I know, Pi totally digs us :P So this is awesome. WE LOVE YOU, PI :D

prayer requests.

I get that we all need to pray and we all always have prayer requests but these are some more specific things you could think and pray for me on for this trip! I challenge you to reflect on your life too because you don't need to leave the country to do something for God~ We can take action together! Read the verses. Actually read them!~~ Click on the links with yo smartphones :P 

-for the team: to always be prepared to give an answer for the hope that we have (1 Peter 3:15) and to be each other's strengths in weaknesses

-for health and energy: to keep hoping in the Lord for renewed strength to truly see and be with the Chinese people (Isaiah 40:28-31)

-family and friends: that they'll take action in their faith to serve together with her in different ways (James 2:22) and to keep loving each other in action and truth (1 John 3:18)

-language and culture: pray that the people will be open to us and want to fulfill their longing to discover God (James 4:8)

-self growth: to keep pursuing the direction of purity (2 Cor 7:1), to keep trusting in God's plans (Hebrews 4:14-16), and to be able to use everything about this stm to share with everyone

-thanks: to every single person who's been sacrificing time and energy to organize prayer meeting, lunch, support raising because they've stayed humble, joyful, and encouraging through it all (Col 3:17)

Thank you for remembering me in your prayer! :D We can make a difference and shine for Jesus! (I could've left it at 'make a difference' but you must know who you're doing it for and from whom you are able to do this~)

For all who are concerned:

YES, I will be bringing bug spray.
YES, I will carry ID 24/7
YES, I will look both ways before crossing the street.

NO, I won't eat raw veggies.
NO, I won't talk to sketchy people.

Soo funny. Should count how many times I hear those tips. Because people luff me muhaha :D THANKS GUISE + PARENTSS

Published.

Just posted the link to this blog on fb so I guess this blog is now 'publicly' announced but I've been asking myself that upon doing this, whether I would sugar coat my writing more. Make things sound nicer than they seem now that more people (MAYBE haha) are going to see it.

And I realize the answer is No, I won't be doing that. Because to track any changes, you have to see both before and after products. And this goes to show that I'm not just another perfect church-going girl that goes to China and do some nice things and look like a nice person.

This is a real human experience. I'm a seriously flawed, far from perfect girl going to China to meet some other flawed people and through the Holy Spirit working in both our hearts, we might connect on some level and someone can discover God's healing simply through me being there. That is all.

EA

Last week my friends came back from their own project with Campus for Christ, in EA. One thing that stuck with me is hearing them say that the youth don't really have their own beliefs. They'll tell you a memorized answer of what they believe in or what they want to be. When replied with 'Yes, but what do YOU really want?' they'll be at a loss for words.

Knowing that, I want to go with my own answer of what I want to be or what I want to do. Makes me wonder if who I am right now is enough to back up my words? I want to make an impact.

Emails: response.

Why is it that we're quicker to share our needs than our gratitude? It took me 2 days to post a prayer request but 4 days to write this response? Could say I was 'busy' but we're all busy these days, aren't we? Makes me feel like those 9 lepers who never came back to thank Jesus when he had actually cured 10 lepers =P

Anyways, the replies I got back from missions board + other people at church were more than expected. It was so truly encouraging and insightful that I had to read them all a couple times to realize their sincere words. I was just floored. I want to be like that when I come back more experienced than before too.

So thank you (: And thank you Lord for putting me in the midst of others who love you so much that they can love me too. It's a blessing because it's out of my control, and too good to be luck.

Emails

Just finished emailing all the people I needed to email in order to seek wisdom, clarity, and advice on support raising and the ESL lesson plan! Now to just wait. Feels much more at peace knowing I've done more of what I can, despite being limited (like, not having super powers or a super genius brain bahah). Thank you to all who have been so encouraging, especially Jotaro + Karin (:

on Time.

Retired couples with grown up children are the easiest missionaries. They don't have to work, they don't have to look after their kids, they don't have to worry about anything pretty much. And they get to serve together. Out of all the possible missionary 'categories', I think this one is the easiest one. It's most ideal to serve the God you love without having to worry about anything right?

But I heard this thing recently (forgot where... =P) where the pastor said something about couples as missionaries. To serve as a couple, they actually give up seeing their grandchildren. They don't get to just relax at home in a retired life. They don't get to be with their grown up children who are actually now able to support the parents in return. The retired couple gives up all these things and, from a desire for others to see God's love, chooses to work again.

It's hard to give up the right to our leisure time after working hard. We're young right now so it may be giving up a week of spring break or a month of summer to go make a difference in this world. Most mission conferences challenge us to offer a year of our lives to missions work. A year is a long time and some of us need to find jobs after graduating. So maybe we'll wait until after we find a job, after we get married, after the kids grow up, after we retire... after, what? The way I see it now, the older we get, the harder it may be to offer a year because when we're older, we're closer to the end of our lifespan and health and energy become more fragile.When we're young, we want to experience and when we're old, we want to just enjoy. So when is a good time, then?

Well it just means that time is always valuable no matter your stage in life. And if time is always important, then giving up our time will always be a sacrifice. If we are to offer sacrificially, then that means we can offer and serve, any time (: It's never too late.

Support.

First off: For financial support raising, it's not that clear still and with the upcoming departure time (12 days!) is a bit frustrating because I don't know how it all works together. Also, needing to make a 6 day 'lesson plan' for the ESL camp is quite daunting.

But secondly: Had a chance to share my true thoughts with a good brother and sister (in christ) today and it's weird because although they couldn't solve the problem, they both had different approaches to the situation and both gave me different things but they both gave me prayer and their energy + time in talking with me (: THANK YOU! So glad for people that see how I'm doing (:

I feel more motivated to keep working (email/call organizers) to clear up any questions because I realize they are working hard on many things as well and would be glad to help me out, and to ask others who are more experienced for advice :D THANKSS hehe.

Speaking of prayer, I should probably write some prayer requests soon... I realized some people have their prayer letters already which means they've done quite a lot of thinking and research already. Need to sit down and stop being so busy and just think about what I'm about to do... I leave in 2 weeks. That is astonishing. I am astonished.

Prayer.

A few days ago I was thinking about why people say 'school' and 'exams' so much when we ask for prayer requests. Sometimes I think it's just a prayer request to say if we don't want to tell people other things that weigh on our hearts, because I've done that as well, but then I also began to think that perhaps we ask for prayer in final exams because there's only so much we can do in terms of time, wisdom, and energy. So much is 'out of our control', or at least we feel that way, and school is such an important thing to us yet it could be so daunting at times and that is why we ask for prayer. Prayer is to give it over to the God who loves us and to give him the control because we realize it's out of our own control.

And then I thought about what would happen if we were able to pray for anything in our lives? Does it sound too idealistic? Because wouldn't that be recognizing that it's all in his hands and that we're willing to follow his plans for us?

Also, I realized that someone's one sentence in a prayer request encapsulates so much more than is being said. So think about the people who talk to us, and pray! :D

Health.

Good sleeping habits and good health and better fitness are a must. Don't want us to be quarantined and I want to exert the most energy I can to learn the most that I can during this trip!!

Speaking of 'perspective'....

General manager of our church retreat is a good leader with good insight. He said that fundraising isn't others supporting us to go on the mission trip. Instead, fundraising is giving ppl a chance to participate by offering to God which then gives us an OPPORTUNITY to serve. (In my case, serve overseas).

So that got me thinking for awhile.

Visa!!

My passport returned to me today. I came home to find it appeared on my desk. Not. My kind mother drove downtown to pick it up this morning!!! So that's another completed piece of formal information :D YAY!

On another note, I officially have no U-Pass this summer because of not taking summer school. Paying bus fare every time I go somewhere is a bit stressful (compared to just waving your u-pass around each time) because I feel the worth of $2.50 more now. A study has shown that people are more reluctant to be pay out of their pockets when being late for appointments when compared to just having an amount deducted from their overall salary. Perspective?

Research

Currently looking at ways to combat humidity + high temperatures + sun exposure for hair! Finding ways to take care of my hair will prepare me to be a good roommate to share a bathroom with and get me ready to accept the fact that there may not always be reliable electricity...? Yeah I don't really know what to expect but I will expect it anyways. People may think it's vain to worry about appearances while on stm (because it's not about how you LOOK, it's about SERVING... and they're right) but still, gotta take care of yourself~~  Plus knowing some good tips will save me valuable sleeping time or fellowship time or any type of time!! :D

http://www.refinery29.com/the-6-easiest-summer-hair-care-tips

On another note, I lined up to apply for my entry visa today at 630am with a large coffee from McD's + 'Heart of Darkness' and finished by 915am so that was my super productive morning :D

Sacrifice.

It's been confirmed that I'm actually not allowed to say where exactly in China that I'm going so that everyone stays safe... DUN DUN DUN!!

Anyways, just got offered the job from Census Canada! Went through online application, written test, and phone interview for a total of maybe 3 months of waiting and finally got the call! It's like $15/hour, work on your own time, in a neighbourhood near you. And it's from June to end of July. I've actually calculated it before: even just working 20hrs/week for 8 weeks = $2400.

But, actually, I couldn't take this awesome job because I'll be in China for all of July which means I won't have income which means no own spending money which most likely means less/more careful shopping while in HK for 8 days. Before you start thinking 'Well you should have seen this coming', let me say that I knew going on this trip would take some kind of commitment, which to me, means: seeing something through even if it means giving up other things. So I was ready to give up Time, and the Opportunity Cost that comes with giving up time (like certain cool summer jobs like working in summer camps/census), but I just feel the sacrifice more and more with every turned-down opportunity and if I don't look at the overall purpose of giving up these things that I want, I might not want to do it at all.

We're called to offer cheerfully and give sacrificially. How is something a sacrifice if the cost doesn't have an impact on us? How much would you like a gift from someone you love if you knew it was thoughtless and cheap? Not much right... so how could God accept the same from us when he loves us so much? I think I'm blessed to have things to give up for God & I'm so thankful to have encouraging friends but I have to ask myself, 'How strong is your faith?' to really trust that God will provide my family and I with what I need, to not stress out because of really trusting, and to stay positive because of not stressing out....?

Preparation:

I've decided there are many ways to prepare for this trip. The first of many steps would be to apply for the Chinese Visa.

I really overestimate my own patience here. Let's say the combination of needing to discover much unknown detail (like the City/Province I'm visiting?) with the unknown process of applying for said visa does not make for a pretty Me and my lucky Parents get collateral damage... please remember me and don't underestimate prayer. I need all the patience I can get.

On a lighter note, my mother has entrusted me with the responsibility of going to the Chinese consulate to complete the app. I even get the family car! Lucky me. Getting downtown by 7am will be a feat. Breakfast, anyone?

(At this point, I don't know why I even say 'anyone'. Have not openly declared the existence of this blog yet)

Schedule released!!!!!!

Schedules are always exciting because when you see the events you feel one step closer to the happening! Excited that we get rest time after dinner, which is at 1830, because I like relaxing in the evening (who doesn't) and also from 1300-1500; pretty sure afternoon break from teaching will be useful. Teaching 2 hours a week right now is already something so... teaching all day will be quite interesting. Finding it a hassle to minus 12 all the time? Practice your military time =P

At the same time, it's also quite intimidating thinking about speaking in Mandarin (a language I don't really know) to try and teach a language they don't know really know (English).

I really need to practice journaling more often during the trip. It will be a progression I definitely would like to document. Plus we won't get email or anything so.... great excuse to get the Moleskine I've always wanted. I want to journal fast because I also want to get to know everyone on my team. And the students. And learn Mandarin... That'll take some energy.

Confirmed dates.

Will be going to the camp that's on July 5-18.

Edit:

Confirmed total trip date:
June 27 - July 20.

First post.

10 days ago (April 26th), I sent in the application and asked for references. Waited. Now 3 days ago (May 3rd), the application has been accepted! The camp dates are 2 weeks in solely in July, 1 week in July + August, or 2 weeks in July; I will most likely decide on the last two durations.

Now to fill out another application.

Also need to double the check the costs of this trip. I know the general amount already but now that I'm accepted into it, it's a bit different you know. Need to be realistic and practical now. To be honest I'm quite intimidiated by the amount, even if 1/3 is supported by SVPG and 1/3 by team fundraising, 1/3 will still need to come elsewhere... I have a few fundraising ideas from a few others who have gone on STM's, but it's always different when you're in the situation.

Anyways, nothing has begun so far, yet I've already feel like so much has been done. Just the application process itself: getting the green light + blessing from my parents, asking people for advice and having friends pray for me, talking to other leaders and friends who have gone on STM before... so much is already out of my control. Applying to this thing requires giving up time, money, and more importantly (for me, at least), what limited certainty I had of Summer 2011. Everything is seriously in His hands now-- as it has always and should have been.

So this me documenting what I can. Welcome & hello =)