Hello! It's just under a month since I last blogged. Haha. So terrible. And the update I'm writing right now isn't even about the mission trip =P
Anyways so just had worship night with Pi Fellowship and I had to do a sharing. ("had" to. haha. Like it's soo terrible.) Two things I wanted to point out with regards to my sharing: personal + others' opinions.
1.
Personally, I was prettttty nervous every time I thought about planning the sharing out and this morning, I even considered just not doing it at all. I tried to make it professional-sounding + tried to make it structured and all orderly. But then it got too annoying so I just scrapped the whole idea and just presented the Bible verses + the way I saw them through experience and stuff. Super casual. Wasn't that nervous. Did okay. No regrets + got to say what I wanted.
2.
Others' opinions. People were saying they liked my sharing. Someone even commented on how I connected my thoughts + how I perceived things... And that was my previous youth pastor?! And mostly just people saying they really liked my sharing. It was mostly kinda overwhelming. I mean, I understand that responses from people would either be 'it was good' or 'you can improve' (HAHA) but these responses were so...genuine. And as you saw, they weren't just 'good' they were almost 'too' good and it's funny because all I can say is... I don't feel any of it?
I mean I feel happy that people support me + that people were encouraged through my experiences, but I feel like I wasn't even that good? Not putting myself down at all, because I think I did okay, but I feel like here's what I said, and there's how people connected/received what I said, and that part's completely out of my control. I guess this is what they mean when they pray for 'the Holy Spirit to work in our hearts'. Only God can change people so it makes sense if God can affect how we process things as well.
It's both kinda weird and kinda cool. Weird because despite all the support, I don't feel like I'm a super public speaker now even though I feel like that's what I'm supposed to feel or something, and, cool, because I have this peace. It feels different from the peace that comes after accomplishing something or like when school is done and summer begins. Just have a very well-rested, satisfied peace that only comes from God. Thank you (:
Also excellent team work today to worship team + to everyone who came out/brought friends. Hope to worship together with everyone soon.
